the motion that makes me last

i'm a vessel between two places i've never been.

i'm happy to be alive. i'm happy to have the friends that i do. lately i keep getting the feeling that i just dont belong here anymore. and by here i mean arizona. i've lived here my whole life and i'm ready to get out. i've had my fair share of adventures here and met so many wonderful souls and i'll never regret that. but after being here for 20 years i'm ready to leave. my heart is yearning for something new, exciting, different. for change. thats what i'm ready for.

i'm restless. i'm an explorer an adventurer, i cant stay put. this summer has made me realize what i need to do with my life, yet again (if i had a dime for every time i've said that). once upon a time i wanted to go and help others, travel around the world and serve my brothers and sisters. i wanted to travel the world, see australia, japan, and europe. somehow i got caught up in school, its hard to think about other things while you're focusing on passing engineering classes.

some days i wonder why i'm even doing engineering, lately it feels like it sucks the creativity right out of me and i feel my sense of wonder for the world leave because i'm so focused on the numbers and passing those damn classes. i've had my fair share of fun times with the people i've met doing group projects and griping about classes or people watching but when i think about it the happiest times i've had all semester have been with just my bike, iPod, and my camera exploring the city i live in. or hanging around the college of design just exploring all the cool stuff. and checking out all the cool people.

i've found a new love, design. i love everything about it and all different kinds of it. thats why i changed my minor to design. with the small hope that i can use my industrial engineering degree to do some kind of industrial design, or to work with the industrial designers. that would just be amazing. i think that maybe engineering was chosen for the job security, that and the sheer fact that i knew nothing in regards to what i wanted to be. so look it just so happens i chose engineering.

i've been thinking about chaning my major to industrial design but with only 4 semesters left i feel like "well, why the hell not. i'm already this far, may as well finish" i just feel so locked in. but it'll be worth it right? i'll be able to work anywhere i want and it'll be easy to get a job and i can just get my masters in design right? right. but then again thats 2+ years away.

so right, back to where i was, what i want to do with my life. i want to ADVENTURE! so what have i done? i've set up a bank account and have called it "adventures" so there's where i'm going to save up money for my adventures. and what's my first adventure going to be? moving scott from Iowa to Utah. Road/flight trip! then later that month we're looking at MacWorld 2010 with Mandi, Vance, and Angie in San Francisco. i'm crossing my fingers that they'll actually go through. and of course, this one is a little ways away but New York, New York with Katie. and various road trips to Utah with Katie and Bonnie to visit Lynard and Scott. I've got my adventures all lined up. So i may be stuck in AZ pursuing this engineering degree i'm not sure i really want but i CAN and WILL leave this place often and get in as many adventures as i can.

and eventually i'll get to go on an adventure to this place.